I heard we made out
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
