If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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