Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
