whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
