I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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