He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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