I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
