LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
