dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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