all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
