Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize