I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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