my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
