I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
