oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
