I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
