i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
