Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
