i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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