If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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