Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
