1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dignity is for republicans.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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