But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize