does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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