Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
