Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
