Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
