Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
