New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
