Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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