we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
