her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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