you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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