we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
