So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
