Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
