this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
