week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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