omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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