Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
