what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
