Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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