They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We left the knife in your bed.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
