i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
