its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
