I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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