haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
