My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
