I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
