Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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