You're so nebulous sometimes
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
