shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
