my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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