i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
