you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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