yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
