oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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