Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
