It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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