She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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