R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
