So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
