dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize