You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
